dark stories. dangerous love. and heroines who don't go quietly.
Exclusive Interview with Rue Wilde
Transcribed from a recorded phone interview by SuzyQReads
SuzyQReads: That’s exactly how it felt—like it was real. The emotional tension, the setting, the characters… especially Angelica and Tristan. Where did they come from?
Rue Wilde: Pieces of people I’ve known. Pieces of myself I don’t always talk about. Angelica’s the part of me that I had to hold back—restraint, rage, responsibility, pressure. And Tristan… he’s the kind of man who sees through all of that.
SuzyQReads: And the space between? That slow ache, the tension? Where do you go when you write scenes like that?
Rue Wilde: Usually I write in silence, maybe with something in the background but it has to be something I'm not really paying attention to. I write best at night. Dim lighting, fully immersed. Music pulls me out of it. I need complete focus. Candles, wine on the nightstand. It’s like I’m summoning spirits.
SuzyQReads: I love that. I write with music on repeat, but only instrumentals. I can’t write to lyrics.
Rue Wilde: Oh same! If lyrics are in my ear, I’m thinking about the story in the song instead of my characters. I need to be in the moment. Completely. That’s how this story came out the way it did. And that's funny that you mention that because a good chunk of this story was written on a long plane ride with instrumental music blaring through my headphones.
SuzyQReads: Oh, wow, interesting. Okay so when exactly did this story come to life?
Rue Wilde: I actually started it two years ago and then life got busy and I put it on the back burner. A couple months ago, I was going through my files on my phone looking for something else, and I saw it. I opened it and reread what I had written so far. I think it was like three chapters, and I thought: this is REALLY good. I have to finish it.
SuzyQReads: You write tension like it’s an art form. That slow burn, the forbidden attraction, the ache. How do you get that so right?
Rue Wilde: I think it’s because I’ve always felt too much. I grew up devouring stories where the characters were allowed to want in ways that felt terrifying and real. I don’t believe in “mild” emotions. I believe in longing and the kind of desire that changes your entire body. If I’m not holding my breath while I’m writing it, it’s not good enough. I remember the first time I read a romance novel as a teenager. (Laughs) It felt so naughty but in such a good way. And there were details but not much. The steam level was about 3 or 4 and I wanted SO much more. I wanted every detail and nasty word! So I knew I wanted to write romance novels even back then.
SuzyQReads: That explains a lot. Every line felt like it meant something. Even the quiet ones. So tell us—what made you decide to publish now?
Rue Wilde: Honestly? I got tired of waiting. This story lived in me for years. I knew the characters inside out. I knew where they lived and exactly what it looked like. I knew where it started, where it broke, and how it had to end. And once I sat down to write it… I couldn’t stop and I knew I had to get these characters out and get their story out there.
SuzyQReads: I love that, and I'm so glad you did! I'm actually getting ready to read it again, it was that good! So, who exactly is Rue Wilde—really?
Rue Wilde: She’s the version of me that doesn’t apologize. She’s bolder. Braver. She writes the kind of love that destroys and saves in equal measure. You know actually I think… she’s closer to the real me than I thought (laughs).
SuzyQReads: What do you want readers to feel when they finish your book?
Rue Wilde: Like they’ve just come back from somewhere dangerous. Like they lost something… and found something even better. Like they’re not the same person who started the first page.
SuzyQReads: First of all—I just read your book, and I have to say this might have ruined all other romance novels. Also I spent most of today writing down these questions to make sure they were just right. (Laughs) I loved your attention to detail, the way you pulled the reader into your world. Like, it wasn’t just about the sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great—but it was so much more!
Rue Wilde: (laughs) Thank you so much! It was really important to me to bring it to life. I had the whole thing locked in my brain for so long that it was easy to describe… almost too easy. Like I’d been living there in secret for a while.
SuzyQReads: Alright let’s start with the basics. Where were you born? Let me guess, Virginia?
Rue Wilde: (laughs) No, actually I was born and raised in Southern California. But I will tell you that I was able to accompany my husband on one of his business trips to Virginia and I was so taken by it. It's absolutely gorgeous there. I remember looking around at all the trees and the flowers and all the expansive land, and I pictured a man and a woman walking hand in hand, frolicking and laughing. It was like I was seeing romance stories playing out in my head. That's why I knew when I finally did write my novel it would be set in Virginia. There’s something about the South—the weight of history, and there’s so much beauty that’s always a little cracked underneath. I think it seeps into everything I write. Romance doesn’t feel real to me unless there’s a storm brewing somewhere in the background.
SuzyQreads: So tell me—where did this story originate from?
Rue Wilde: Honestly, it started with a feeling. It started in Virginia with a picture in my head of a man and woman. Suddenly I was wondering who those people might be and what trials and tribulations they might have to go through to be together. That craving for a love story that’s both brutal and beautiful. One that aches. I kept picturing this woman—rich, repressed, trapped—and the man who wasn’t supposed to want her, but couldn’t stay away. Once I had them in my head, it was over. I knew I had to write it.
SuzyQreads: The emotional chaos in Kiss Me Like You Hate Me is so intense. I was holding my breath half the time. How did you get into that mindset?
Rue Wilde: (laughs) I think I live in that mindset. I’m drawn to the slow burn, the forbidden, the kind of desire that terrifies you. I write with music blaring, candles lit, totally lost in the scene. I want readers to feel it in their chest. That’s the goal—make it hurt a little in the best way.
SuzyQReads: Let’s talk process. What does writing look like for you? Are you the type to outline every beat, or do you dive in headfirst?
Rue Wilde: I try to outline… and then promptly ignore it. (laughs) I always know the ending—I write toward that. But everything in between? That’s where the characters take over. I write fast, messy, and fully immersed. I don’t write with my head—I write with my gut. It’s all emotion and chaos until I rein it in later.
SuzyQReads: So basically… pure vibes, no notes?
Rue Wilde: Exactly. Vibes first. Edits later. Always.
SuzyQReads: Okay, forgive me if you don’t want any spoilers in this interview, and if you don't I can edit it out, but since I’ve got you here I have to talk to you about Chapter 13 – The Last Time.
Rue Wilde: Omg yes, of course! What would you like to know?
SuzyqReads: Well first of all, I want you to know that by the end I was sobbing. Like, actual chest pain. My question is—did something like this happen to you in real life? Because you wrote it so well, like I actually felt like it was happening to me.
Rue Wilde: (pauses) That’s probably the best—and hardest—compliment I could ever get. And the honest answer is… yes. Not the exact situation, but the emotion? The heartbreak? The feeling of having to walk away from something you still wanted and needed because it wasn’t right? I’ve lived that. I bled all of that onto the page. I think that’s why it hurts when people read it—because it hurts when I write it.
SuzyQReads: Okay, no MAJOR spoilers but when she says to hold her... how huge of a moment is that and what did it mean for them?
Rue Wilde: Oh it's a huge moment. They are normally feral, and full of this intense passion that stems from thinking you hate that person even though you're attracted to them, but at that moment it's a huge turning point. Not only is the finality sinking in, like this might be it, but also it's being terrified of the that fact that she's realizing that she doesn't hate him anymore and she's actually beginning to really trust him and need him.
SuzyqReads: The dog tags… and the way Angelica wraps her fingers around them and uses them to pull him around… every time she does it, it gives me a little feeling of naughtiness in my stomach. (laughs) She does it a lot, which I love, but I’m wondering—was that from personal experience or just an idea? And if so, where did the idea come from?
Rue Wilde: (laughs) Let’s just say… I’ve always been a fan of the quiet power move. There’s something about that small gesture—her hand curling around something that belongs to him, tugging him toward her, silently daring him to lose control. It’s intimate without being obvious. Dominant without being loud.
And no, it’s not directly from my life… but let’s just say I’ve thought about it enough to write it like it is. (laughs)
It started as instinct—her hand going to his chest in a moment of vulnerability or need—but once I realized how symbolic it was, I kept weaving it in. Every time she touches those tags, it’s another way of saying: “You’re mine, whether you admit it or not.”
Suzy QReads: UGH!!! There's so much to love about your book and the characters you created. I would have to say that Chapter 13 was one of my favorite chapters, besides Chapter 8 - Lightning and Lust, and that one is for obvious reasons, so I don't definitely don't want to spoil that for any new readers!
Rue Wilde: Thank you, thank you. And yes definitely had to be really in my feels for both of those but in different ways. It was like a no one talk to me, no one look at me, make your own dinner, I'm busy, type of thing (laughs).
SuzyQReads: I can't wait to read it all over again and really take my time. Okay, last question—and one that I always have to ask… the sex scenes. Personal experience or imagination running wild?
Rue Wilde: (big laugh, pause) Ummm, let’s just say… I write what I’d want to feel. Some of its experience, of course. Some of it’s fantasy. But all of it is intentional. Every touch, every word, every shift in control—it’s there for a reason. I want the reader to feel like they shouldn’t be watching, but can’t look away. And honestly? Sometimes I surprise myself with what comes out. But that’s the best part of writing romance you just never know what you'll come up with.
SuzyQReads: Thank you so much for doing this. I loved your book—and I genuinely hope the whole world reads it, because if they don’t, they’re seriously missing out.
Rue Wilde: Thank you. Truly. I am so honored that you asked me to do this. This story wrecked me in the best way while I was writing it. If it does the same to someone else—if they feel seen, shaken, or just wildly turned on—I’ll know I accomplished what I set out to do!